What Have They Done For You Lately?
The past few months have been a major struggle for me, and I haven’t been exactly shy about that fact. Most of you know how it all started, so I will not rehash, but what I have discovered in the ensuing months is that what happened with that one person is merely symptomatic of a disease that is crushing the American Heathen community on the whole. What many of you may not know about me is that my first love, before I found Heidhrinnry and archaeology, was Traditional Chinese Medicine, so when faced with a “disease” of any sort, my automatic reaction is to attempt to find its source. I have spent the past two months laying open that wound, poking it, and squeezing out the pus that is the history of Heathenry in America. That only made me more angry; more lost; more desperate. And then I met Ullr.
Ullr is a God who is too often overshadowed by the Others, frankly because we know more about Them. The Lore isn’t exactly rich on references to Ullr, outside of the information that He is the son of Sif, and stepson of Thor, and is a “handy guy” to have in your “toolbox”, if you’re a skaldic poet in need of kennings for snowshoes, skis, and shields. His archaeological “truth”, if you will, however, is far richer, and place-name and grave-good evidence from Sweden in particular paints a very different image of precisely how important He was in the minds and hearts of the people practicing “the faith” in the Iron Age. Like Volundr, He is a God with heavy ties to the Saami, who originally ranged much further South than most people–inclusive of scholars–wished to realize until quite recently. Part of that tie comes from His own heritage, as it is possible that He is actually the nephew of Volundr: His father may have been Egil, Volundr’s brother, an accomplished archer and a Saami “prince”. The other portion of that tie comes from His association with skis and bows, both of which were introduced in the North by the Saami. Grave evidence from places such as Valsgarde in Sweden also suggest the prevalence/importance of Ullr within the spiritual mindset: grave-goods in Boat Graves 5, 6, 7, and 8 at Valsgarde repeat the exact same contents, in near exact positionings (context, often referred to as provenience or provenance in archaeology), when it comes to shields, bows, and arrows. The shields themselves become particularly important, when one realizes they were far too large to have actually been used as such in combat, therefore serving a more “ceremonial” purpose (likely used in a similar fashion to the drum of the Saami), and that a very common kenning for a shield was apparently “Ullr’s ship”. Lore-evidence suggests that He was a God associated with magick (particularly incantatory magick, such as galdr), navigation (especially at sea), yew trees, bows and arrows, skis, snowshoes, hunting, rulership, and oath-taking.
When I needed focus, a very good friend of mine suggested I sit utiseta with Ullr; so I did. And Ullr told me this:
“You can only serve the community which has chosen you to represent it; not the entire world….Why do you get so upset about other people’s inauthenticity when you are not yet willing to build something that is authentic? Use this time to ponder what is truly authentic, and to lay the foundation to build that thing. Disengage from the rest–that is not for you. It never was. Build what is.”
I subsequently have spent the past several weeks trying to figure out my own “authenticity”, as a person attempting to serve my own unique community. That, in and of itself, would be enough to drive most people nuts. Ullr is not the “guy” you want to invite along on a picnic. Just sayin’. Because the past few weeks decidedly have not been one, but I think I’ve finally figured it all out….
I didn’t “sign up for this gig” to become some “Viking caped crusader”, attempting to “fight the good fight” and “change the whole of American Heathenry”. No, I “signed up for this gig” to genuinely help people, as I have myself been helped: by the Gods, and the rest of the “invisible population” (Landvaettir, Husvaettir, etc.). I “signed up for this gig” to make the world a tiny bit brighter of a place, through art and inspirational musings which eventually have become an integral part of my art. I “signed up for this gig” because of the neverending question: “What have They done for me lately?” Because I want people actively asking that question, and then showing gratitude for the answers they find, so that that genuine outpouring may continue, every day, in every way, precisely the same way They did for our Ancestors (of Kith, Kin, and/or Path). That is my authenticity. That is who I am, why I do what I do, and, I now realize, the precise reason I was called to do this in the first place.
Sure, I may teach some history in the process; I may open some eyes to better sources of “living history” than the Lore in the process. I may even change some people’s minds about a whole lot of things in the process. But when it all comes down, at the end of the day, my authenticity lies in actively trying to work to make people’s lives better, brighter, and ever-so-slightly less dismal in a world that has skipped the tracks, and is heading towards The Dark on an apparently daily basis.
So, What have They done for me lately? A very large female hawk has kept her station outside my office window every day for the past several weeks, and I know it is Freyja’s way of saying “you may not want to talk to me right now, but that doesn’t change the fact that I am here for you.” I am reminded daily that I am surrounded by good people and good friends, all of whom were placed on my path by Gods who love me. Yes: the Gods love us, and don’t try to tell me for a moment anything otherwise. I have seen entirely too much concrete evidence of that love in my life since the middle of August to be persuaded otherwise. Perhaps most importantly, They have loved me enough to keep hitting me over the head, until I figured all of this stuff out.
In the coming weeks and months, you may see evidence of an utter change in tone and focus within my writings, my art, my online interactions, and everything else. Hopefully, that will make someone out there’s life a little brighter, just as it is making my life much brighter. In the meantime, I would like to remind you to ask yourself daily: “What have They done for me lately?” And then count those blessings, and pay them forward.
