Personal Opinion Versus Truth
Have you ever gotten into a debate with someone in which you tried to tell them the Truth, but they passed it off as simply your personal opinion? When we get into situations like that, it is very important to know the difference between the two. That still might not matter to the person with whom you’re having the debate–getting them to realize the difference between Truth and your personal opinion might be about as easy as teaching a cow the difference between a piece of grass and a daisy–but at least you will know when you’re actually working to defend the Truth, versus when you’re being over-passionate about something that’s uniquely your own.
The Truth is at the same time both a very personal thing and not personal at all. While it strikes you on your deepest personal levels, making it a very “personal thing”, it isn’t only yours; it doesn’t just belong to you. Personal opinions, on the other hand, are uniquely your own–everybody has opinions, you know that old saying, right? Unfortunately, not everyone has the Truth, although they certainly should be given the opportunity to learn it, and it often becomes our job, once we know the Truth, to try and teach it to them. The Truth belongs to everyone and no one, all at the same time. It is a collection of things–ideas, thoughts, concepts–that are Ultimately and Undeniably Right, and those things have always been Ultimately and Undeniably Right, and always will be. Nobody’s personal opinion can or will change that.
Truth is not morality, although it may occasionally deal with moral subjects. Morality is actually a very subjective thing–what’s good for you might be awful for someone else; what’s awful for you might be great for another person. Tons of really horrible things have been done over the course of history based on subjective morals. Hitler engaged in the Holocaust for the “good” of the German people. The U.S. Government placed thousands of Asians in concentration camps during WWII for the “good” of the American people. The Wounded Knee Massacre of the Sioux Indians happened because those people had been placed on reservation land for “their own good”. No, Truth operates on a much deeper level than morality–rather than operating from one group or another’s perspective, it treats the whole of Creation as its own group, and it is the interconnectedness of that group which creates the “trickle-down effect” of what is Ultimately Right, versus what is Ultimately Wrong. Things reverberate both outwards and inwards: if something will ultimately “trickle-down” to harm everyone and The All (however you characterize Deity), then that thing is Ultimately Wrong. Period. That is Truth, not morality. Truth is all-inclusive; morality operates from the “personal space” of the acting party, onto the acted-upon, and is based on their personal motives, as well as the personal outcomes in both directions.
Because Truth operates from the place of interconnectedness, it always works solely from a place of compassion, and never from a place of personal agenda. Truth looks out for what is best for all, not just for this group or that group. Compassion is defined in the Eastern Traditions (Buddhism; Taoism) as the recognition of the power of all individuals to co-create the life experience. It begins within–on a personal level–but radiates outward into the world through loving-kindness: good will; a strong wish for the happiness of others, patience, receptivity, and appreciation. Therefore, Truth should not “divide and conquer”, but instead “unite and make peace”. Opinions that seek to “divide and conquer” are personal opinions at best, and political (and, therefore, still personal) agendas at worst.
Truth echoes down to us through eternity. That may sound rather lofty at face value, but what it really means is that when something is True (capital-T), you will find it over and over again echoed in the spiritual literature of the world, spanning multiple religions, and it can never be taken out of context or turned to ill-use according to personal agendas, though it may still go largely ignored by some. Still sounding pretty lofty? Let me give you an example. You find these three passages about compassion in the holy texts of three of the world’s largest religions, Islam, Hinduism, and Christianity:
Those who give in times of both ease and hardship, those who control their rage and pardon other people—Allah loves the good-doers. (Aal-‘Imran 3:134; The Koran; Islam/Muslim)
He who has let go of hatred, who treats all beings with kindness and compassion, who is always serene, unmoved by pain and pleasure, free of the “I” and “mine”, self-controlled, firm, and patient, his whole mind focused on me—that man is the one I love best.
(Baghavad Gita 12.13-14; Hindu)
So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.
(Colossians 3:12-14; New Testament Bible, Message Translation; Christian)
Now, I challenge you to take any of those three statements out of context and try to turn it to an ill-use to support a personal agenda, because it won’t work. Therefore, we can recognize this as Truth.
Personal opinions tend to only echo in the “right now”, and really loudly. They don’t care if they divide people–in fact, they tend to operate from a “divide and conquer” mentality set on winning an argument, instead of Righting a Wrong. They might get caught up in morality on occasion, but they rarely operate from a place of genuine compassion that looks at the big picture of the interconnectedness of the whole world. Personal opinions turn everything into “us vs. them”; the Truth keeps everything firmly planted in “us”.
“If anyone hears what I am saying and doesn’t take it seriously, I don’t reject him. I didn’t come to reject the world; I came to save it. But you need to know that whoever puts me off, refusing to take in what I’m saying, is willfully choosing rejection. The Word, the Word-made-flesh that I have spoken and that I am, that Word and no other is the last word. I’m not making any of this up on my own. The Father who sent me gave me orders, told me what to say and how to say it. And I know exactly what his command produces: real and eternal life. That’s all I have to say. What the Father told me, I tell you.”–Jesus Christ, John 12:49-50, The Message
I’ll confess that reading that Bible verse the other day was part of what prompted me to write this post, but let me break that down a bit for those not coming here from a Christian audience, or who are put off by Christian imagery:
If anyone hears the Truth and doesn’t take it seriously, I don’t reject them. I’m not here to reject people; I’m here to teach them better. But you need to know that whoever puts off the Truth, refusing to take in what I’m saying, is willfully choosing rejection (and disconnection). The Truth is the last word. I’m not making any of this up on my own. I’ve learned the Truth, and that tells me what to say and how to say it. And I know exactly what the Truth produces: compassion and loving-kindness. That’s all I have to say. The Truth I’ve learned, I tell you.
Ultimately, what is The Truth? The Truth is that we are all connected to each other and to every other thing on this planet and to The All, whether we realize that or not. And we are all put here to attempt to maintain that connection through always seeking to do what is Ultimately Right–what is best for all and The All. If we had instead been put here to accomplish Ultimate Wrong, we likely would’ve destroyed each other and the planet sometime just after the Stone Age!
Sometimes, in seeking to promote the Truth you may encounter people, as I have, who accuse you of just trying to further your personal opinion. When that happens, you need to measure what you’re arguing against the following criteria:
Your position will be solely in favor of Ultimate Right—the Truth—and not based on some personal agenda.
Your position will be justifiable according to the definition of Ultimate Right—The Truth.
Your position will be fair and compassionate, and you will be willing to fight both fairly and compassionately.
If your position doesn’t meet up to those three criteria, you are more than likely dealing with an affront to your personal opinion, rather than a righteous battle in defense of the Truth. You need to check yourself before you wreck yourself–and your relationship with that person. You should also make sure that you’re handling your discussion of the Truth properly:
Be completely honest. Remember, we talked about honesty when we discussed the Celtic Values in the last section on Everyday Rituals. It means you not only tell the Truth (explain what is Ultimately Right), but you also tell it in a “shiny” and “marketable” way. In other words, you tell it gently and with compassion, infused with light.
Come from a place of increase, never decrease. Your telling of the Truth should enrich the lives of those who are hearing you tell it, never making them feel small, stupid, or bad. By hearing what you’ve got to say, the other person (or people) in the conversation should come away enlightened, rather than chastised. Remember, enlightened means radiating spiritual light, thanks to the removal of misconceptions, ignorance, and narrow patterns of thinking. The other person (or people) in the conversation should come away with the feeling that they have learned something that actually makes their life better.
Remember that this is neither a competition nor a war, and that nobody wins if the other person feels defeated. Defeat means destruction, nullification, frustration, and to gain control. None of those things promote the connection which is the intrinsic heart of the very Truth you’re trying to hurl in the first place. On the contrary, defeat disconnects, and that’s precisely what you’re supposed to be trying to stop from happening.
Employ a compassionate argument. You must argue from a place of loving-kindness; a place of good will, with a strong wish for the happiness of the other person. You must argue with patience, receptivity, and appreciation for that person’s lifestyle and background. In other words, you must adopt a stance where you truly and honestly care what happens to this other person, and wherein you only want the best for them. At the same time, though, you must carry no further attachment: you care what happens to them, but you can be patient enough to let any negativity that comes along with them wash away from you; you care what happens to them enough not to let this become an opportunity for drama.
Don’t stay angry. Underneath your calm, kind words, you may be seething as you type or talk, but you cannot let that slip into your language. And when all is said and done, and you have hurled the Truth, you need to step away, back into the calmness of the light inside of you. In other words, say what needs to be said to promote what’s Ultimately Right, but do not flog the Truth. Speak the Truth, and then let the Truth stand up for itself. If you let the conversation eat you alive inside, then you have promoted disconnection instead of connection. When we allow that to happen, we have not served the Truth at all.
Simply saying what is True means your words cannot be turned against you. They may not be taken in the spirit in which they are meant, but at least they cannot come back to haunt you or harm you. We often make fun of parents and teachers when they teach children to “use their words”, mostly because this is often taught in a way that is defeatist and belittling. Defeatist in what way, you may ask? Usually children are taught “use your words” as an alternative to being physically beaten up, or physically beating someone else up. The lesson is taught from an attitude of resignation: the adult saying “use your words” is teaching the child to accept, expect, and be resigned to defeat; to being beaten. If you “use your words”, defeat won’t happen; “you won’t get hurt”. There is some underlying validity to the concept of “use your words”, however. Using the right words instead of the wrong ones can determine whether you or the other person come out of the conversation feeling disconnected, or more connected. Defending and teaching the Truth instead of your personal opinion will maintain that connection.
