For The Love Of Freyja
I am very blessed to have friends who steadily teach me that I am neither too old, nor too practiced, nor too whatever to learn new things. My most recent lesson is that while I like to think of myself as a highly empathetic human being, sometimes I fall despairingly short of that mark. Hey, I’m not perfect; nor is anyone. But when there’s room for improvement, I’ll gladly admit that’s the case, and then take the necessary steps to make those improvements.
As pretty much the entire world knows by now, I am Fulltrui of Freyja. As a Goddess of Love, Death, Sex, and Magick, empathy is sort of “Her thing”, so it necessarily needs to be my “thing”, too. Unfortunately, I’m male, with a scholarly bent, and a real passion for righting social injustices, whether simply perceived or real, so I often have a tendency to put ye olde cart before ye olde horse, and ye olde foot in my olde mouth!
I talk a lot about mindfulness, which hopefully some of you have noticed by now. I’m a huge supporter of practicing what one preaches. Yet, again, sometimes I fall short of that mark. Again, I’m not perfect; nor is anyone. But when you realize you’re not quite up to muster, that’s when it’s time to stop, take note of how you can do better, and then apply those improvements. Hence, this post. Also, hence staying up til 3am on a Wednesday-into-Thursday to write this blog post.
It’s a fact of life that sometimes other people are going to brush up against us roughly. It’s also a fact of life that when that happens, we tend to bristle like a boar, and often “shoot first” and ask questions later. But we can learn a lot from boars: specifically, I’m talking about Hildisvini, Freyja’s boar. As you may or may not know, Hildisvini appears in Hyndluljodh, the Lay of Hyndla, which is often considered a part of the Poetic Edda. If you know that, you likely also know that Hildisvini was actually Ottar, Freyja’s protege, in disguise. Why was he in disguise? Well, the truth is, the poem doesn’t really tell us that, so we have to come up with our own answers to that question. Since Hyndla is a Jotun (variously described as a giantess, ogress, or troll-woman), perhaps the disguise was for Ottar’s own protection. After all, Jotun do have a nasty reputation in the lore, when it comes to the treatment of “petty humans”. Since their quest involved Otherworld travel (faring-forth), perhaps the disguise is indicative of a certain form of “horsing” or “mediumship”, or maybe it was just easier for Ottar to make the journey in the form of a pig (evidencing a certain measure of being hamr-strong). The primary thing to keep in mind (and my basic point in bringing this up in the first place) is that within that disguise, Ottar was largely forced to keep quiet and listen to Freyja. In other words, he was placed in the position of quiet, patient pig, rather than rushing forth rashly like Puumba in The Lion King.
Perhaps that’s what it means to work alongside Freyja as Syr, which means “Sow”. I am certainly going to be exploring that, as I embark on this Official Freyja Prayer Day.
I am making a commitment to “be a big pig, too”, as Timon invites in his unforgettable hula scene. (Sorry for all of The Lion King references, but I suddenly can’t get that image or that song out of my head, and usually when that happens, I find it’s best to go with it!) What do I mean by that? What does it mean to be a big pig? It means I am going to make a conscious effort, when someone brushes up against me roughly, to take a moment to keep quiet and listen to Freyja; to listen to my own heart, and in the doing of that, try to hear that other person’s. I’m going to actively employ patience first, before reacting. I’m going to try to work as Hildisvini, in equal measure to the way I try every day to live as Ottar: devout to The Lady. I’ll let you know how that works out….
The “roughest” among us are usually reacting out of some form of their own personal pain. Those who disparage others have most often been disparaged themselves: in other words, bullies make other bullies. It creates an endless cycle, and the only way to really stop it is to not repay tit with tat. In the same way that we cannot learn to love others unless we first learn to love ourselves, sometimes the only way others can learn to love themselves is if we show them love first. So I will work hard to do that, for the love of Freyja.
