Cookies and Sovereignty

This is the eleventh in a series of guest blog posts by up-and-coming author, Suzanne Hersey. Her first book, Faith, Food, Family, will be available from Iaconagraphy Press in May of 2019!

So much lately, Sovereignty has been a topic of conversation in our little circle. There are moments when I think I have it and moments when I think I am not at all qualified to teach anyone to find their own self-ownership. Up until a few years ago, I lived my life as directed by my parents, my former faith, and my now ex-husband. Yes, I made my own decisions on how I conducted my professional life, though not always my career path. While my children were little, I left my career path of choice, giving up that cushy corner office and ever-expanding salary to stay at home and raise my babies. I do not regret that choice at all, though it was not necessarily mine. Though I often dated people that my parents disapproved of, I married because they expected me to. Though I knew that there was more to the Otherworld than just one Abrahamic God, I followed the path (and brought my kids up in it) that I knew so well and that my family followed. Only after my divorce did I leap with both feet onto my new path.

At that time, I would often introduce myself to other Witches as a “baby witch”. Some came to view me as such and others gave me “Witchy Stink Eye” because they knew better. They saw that, through Kitchen Witchery, I had my Sovereignty all along, I was just not wielding it with the power that laid beneath the surface of my insecurity and lack of what I believed was experience. I just didn’t think I was worthy. Then my best friend talked me into writing a book and things started to change. I don’t think Sovereignty comes gently. It more or less whacked me repeatedly in the head via different encounters with the Gods of my path and a particular being from the path of someone that I love and trust dearly.

I thought I had my path all figured out. I was working with Tyr and Heimdall and often with Freyja, as my Beloved is dedicated to Her. Hela generally resides in our home space because my best friend is dedicated to Her and working diligently to get Her words down on paper as we speak. So Hela ambushed me at a recent ritual and let me know exactly how I was going to come into my power.

Other Gods come in and out of our Hearth via our friends and loved ones and of their own volition. I find that, like any other house guest, when I show Them frith, (welcome), They give me a little hostess gift of knowledge. This is how I met my Fairy Queen; that is what I will call her as, honestly, I am not ready or willing to share my relationship with her or the person that she loves. Last night, she took me on a bit of a journey out of myself and, although it ended abruptly due to the cat killing a mouse in the living room and me getting slapped back in-body, her message was clear: I have some traveling, learning and self-work to do, but I already have the tools to do that.

My magick is not lesser because my wand is a wooden spoon; my spirit is not weak because I struggle with astral travel. These are issues because I let other people own my power. This morning, with her literal and figurative wind at my back, I am racing to that ownership. So how do we get there? Well there are a lot of other more experienced or educated witches with opinions and lessons, but if I keep falling back on them to help guide, then I am not really Sovereign, am I? So I will tell you how I am finding my way and realizing that I own me and, if it helps you, then I will be thrilled.

First, you have to really take a step back and look at the things you don’t control or love about yourself and your magickal path. Looking under the spiritual furniture for ugly little dust bunnies of insecurity is step one in spiritual Hearth-Keeping. Dust bunnies bad! Sweep them out, take a good hard look at them, and then own them. They can go in the trash as you do the work. You have to own the dark and the light, the choices you have made along the way, and know what ones to set aside, forgive, and learn from. I have been writing them down, acknowledging them, and, when I cannot figure them out, I ask for guidance from those that guide me. I forgave my parents for pushing me into an abusive marriage and forcing me to stay in by not giving me shelter when I asked. That was their choice, but it was mine, too, because I gave them my power by not taking my kids and finding a shelter or a cheap place to live. I forgave myself for not owning myself. Now that part of me is mine and it adds to the fire; the power in me. I let go of resentment of a Church that betrayed me; the Gods didn’t do that. Jesus didn’t do that. The people did that. They are not in my life and I don’t have to care what they think. They cannot take my power. I can acknowledge their God, even if they don’t believe in mine. The one place I struggle still is with astral travel, past life regression, and the fear of memories tucked away. I thought that was going to require some hypnosis, honestly, but last night my very short journey showed me the way. The in-between is my place. Just as other witches find their power through the Yggdrasil (World Tree) as they see it, or their God or Goddess as they see Them, or the Fae as they see them, I find my Self-power through my own doorway and I did get a foot inside last night. Fear and letting other people tell you how to be you are the enemies of Sovereignty. That is not me saying you shouldn’t take advice! Please do listen to the elders, friends, and loved ones that offer guidance and see your power. Shrug off the ones that keep you under foot and tell you that you are not enough.

How do I know I am enough? I baked some oatmeal cookies because someone I care about is sick and I knew I could put my magick in there and give her some healing. I was having a tough day, but as soon as I got my Kitchen Witch on, things lightened right up and the change was palpable in the Hearth. Also, a certain Fairy Queen told me so: not with words, but with a hand out stretched to take mine and keep me moving on the constant journey on the path to Self-power. I am a recharging battery of magick, fueled by Kitchen Witchery. Charge your battery; own your power; know that now and then we all stumble and run out of ‘”juice”. But when you have swept up the dust bunnies and kept up the work, the road back to Sovereignty is more smoothly ridden than it was the last time.